i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
