marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
