The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
