How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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