I wanna passion pit in your ass
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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