is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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