You really coming over, don't trick.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
