I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
