meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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