we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
