Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
