so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
