How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
