Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
