It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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