those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
FUCK WHALES
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize