We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
