You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
