I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
