Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
