i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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