Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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