Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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