So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
i now understand why vodka
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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