My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Dry spell is over and now Iβm drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
Itβs a glorious dick miracle!
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