What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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