K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
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