Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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