so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
