you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
