He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
