Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize