I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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