just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
