Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
