i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize