Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
