i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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