I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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