I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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