I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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