he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i will never coherently bang her
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
