I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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