dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
