You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
