That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
