You really coming over, don't trick.
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize