he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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