I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
