Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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