Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
