she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
