I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
