I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
