If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
