did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
