He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize