I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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