If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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