These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
