You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
