If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
