His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
