Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
