omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
sarcasm needs its own font
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
