i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
