Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize