what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
porn star boner night. come get it.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
