youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize