How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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