I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
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