drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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