I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
he thought i was a dude.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
