Sponge bath it is.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
