you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
