We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
