will power is for people who don't want to get laid
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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